I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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