Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Are we still banned from the library?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
