smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
