it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i now understand why vodka
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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