1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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