it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
