i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
