Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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