if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
