I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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