you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
