She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
