we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
