Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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