We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
