If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
