Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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