Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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