Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
