yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
