So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
