Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
