This is not my ceiling
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
