Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
