did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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