She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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