No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
dude. I can hear the air.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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