Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
