Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
