she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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