go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
