i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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