So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
