at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
