There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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