Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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