If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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