i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
