Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
they need to just BURY HIM!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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