I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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