I'm drive I can fine osifer
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
