just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
