I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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