Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
