Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
