Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
