I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
