Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
