don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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