So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
soo... how was my night?
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