Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
